Staying and Going

by Krustal

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03:09
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02:01

about

This was meant to be an EP but turned out a little long...

credits

released May 27, 2012

Big thanks to Mikey Midnight for recording me!

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Krustal Indianapolis, Indiana

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Track Name: Law of Matter
Maybe if I lay long enough on top of the grass
my raw materials will sink beneath the surface
my body will break down into its individual particles
and the elements will fuse with all the rocks and minerals
I'll be the earth, and work my way into the trees
I am the grass, I am the leaves, I'm everything beneath your feet
and even though all my features will change
no one will notice I'm gone because they'll see me every day
no one will notice I'm gone, its the perfect getaway

Maybe if I try hard enough I could dissolve and disappear
I'll be the things you can not see but you know is there
like the oxygen and carbon just floating in the air
as long as I'm around then no one needs to care
as long as I'm alright then no one needs to care

And if someone really wants to see me I guess I'll pull myself together
I'll try to form a compound that's like something that you might remember
I'll try and I'll try to be something you might recognize
I'll try and I'll try
but I'll disintegrate as soon as I'm out of your sight
completely by choice
Track Name: Move
There was a time and a day I was waiting on a plane
and it was going to take me so far away
take me to see such beautiful scenes
take me away from everything

I flew away
I flew away from this place

Just to spite gravity
and prove that it can't hold me
and now its nice to know
I could always go

I could always go
I could always make another home

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do
life will feel like it's crashing down around you
but if I've really got nothing to loose
I know I could always move

I could always move
I could go wherever I so choose
Track Name: Settling
My standards are too high, so I just choose to ignore them
mediocrity is fine because at least it cures the boredom
we all get old and die someday, wither and rot and waste away
and when we're all laid in our graves, who cares what decisions I've made

It doesn't matter what we've had to say
because we don't hold the pens and pencils erase

I don't know what I'm doing...
I think I'm just chasing happiness
perhaps I'm perpetually discontent
or maybe I'm just sick of this
or didn't try to begin with, so
I'll just take what I can get
pretend its what I've always wanted
I'll just give in and get good at lying to myself

It doesn't matter what we've had to say
because we don't hold the pens and pencils erase

I'll tell you a secret...
everything is perfect, if you just ignore it
so lets all just drop it, there's no need to talk about it
lets all just drop it, no one needs reminded
lets all just drop it, no one wants to talk about it
lets all just drop it, no one wants reminded
lets all just drop it, I don't want to talk about it,
lets all just drop it, I don't want reminded

We all get old and die someday, wither and rot and waste away
and when we're all laid in our graves who cares what decisions I've made

Everything we do and say will slowly erode away
because we don't hold the pens and pencils erase

So why even bother
none of this matters

Complacency is so easy, so very appealing
complacency is so easy, and we won't have to do a thing
So won't you come cower beside me
let's all keep hiding
won't you turn a blind eye with me
lets all surrender to apathy
because complacency is so easy, so very appealing
complacency is so easy, won't you come join me
complacency is so easy, oh all it might cost you is your dignity
but that's ok, I heard these days
that's all coming cheap
Track Name: SEX!
Everything is slutty when its on the TV
and everything's degrading when its looking for high ratings
and I know its appealing to the public, but its something I don't wanna see
because what's appealing to the public apparently isn't appealing to me
what's appealing to the public is kind of sickening

Because its been condensed to fit your screen
and its been stripped and devoid of its meaning
and our windows to the world are growing in numbers
but I couldn't help but notice that they're getting a lot smaller now
all this innovation and we use it how?

People can't be too complex because they have to fit in 30 minutes or less
or if its an advertisement then you only get a couple of seconds, so
lets get down to the basics
food, happiness, and sex
lets get down to the basics, just a lot of sex and sex

Because its been reformatted to fit your screen
and its been stripped and devoid of its meaning
and our windows to the world are growing in numbers
but I couldn't help but notice that they're getting a lot smaller now
all this innovation and we use it how?

Sexuality on the TV kinda bugs me
because its not wrong, but you make it so ugly
and I'm not much one to censor, its just kind of frustrating
because I don't want to see a part of us as
cheap and dirty
why should it be?
its a natural thing
its just a big misunderstanding, surely

It's been modified from its original version
for a self-fulfilling prophesy, through cycles of misconception
and we breed confusion at every turn
because what you see is this perversion and what you see is what you learn
all this innovation, we watch it burn
all this potential we watch it burn
all our power and we never learn
Track Name: Exposed
Why waste time on myself if I don't know what I need
I'm so numb sometimes it makes no difference to me
so why not help the ones that I love?
I'd rather help the ones that I love

and its not to say, that I don't enjoy my life
and its not to say I'm not happy sometimes
its just hard to make contentment concrete
and its hard to make anything lasting

Because I don't really know how to be happy
so I'll make you happy for me
and I know, its probably no healthy
and I know it might not even be helping
and I realize its not really good for me
but its the only way I know how to be

Because no expectations means no let-downs
I'll avoid the water completely to make sure I never drown
drink from my half-full cup, deny as needed and bottle it up
it sometimes helps to pretend
I learned this from my parents

And sometime I've gotta learn to put myself first
because how can you help someone if you're fucked up worse?
and now I don't even know where my emotions go
maybe they eat themselves alive or just gnaw at my insides
all the time
I can feel them there, they just like to hide

And I know I need to let it hurt
know I need to let it burn
my heart straight to the ground
and everything on down
I need to let it go, I need to let it out
I need to feel at all, but I don't know how
I need to let it in, need to let in singe
my shell to the bone so that I may be exposed
for everyone to see

But then my insides will start leaking and I know that it won't stop
but I'll know who really cares about me when they come to clean it up
as my weaknesses start dripping, with all my vulnerabilities
my pain and insecurities, and the emotions I've been swallowing
will come out pouring,
out of me
...but why would I make anyone deal with such a mess?

I don't really know how to be happy
so I'll make you happy for me
and I know, its probably not healthy
and I know it might not have a good ending
and I realize how all this is sounding
but as for right now, its the only way
its the only way I know how to be
Track Name: Scents and Senses
The season brings new scents
makes me want to reminisce
cold mornings, tile flooring
water boiling on the stove
just you and me alone

The season brings your smell
and you fill my nose
and my sense of touch
sometimes swears that
you're in my clothes
I just wanted to hold you close

I remember all the things that
I used hear
Some nights if I'm quiet enough
I swear that
they fill my ears
and it brings me to tears

I remember all the sights
I'd never seen such pretty lights
even just the thought of it
is enough to
burn my eyes
and it makes me want to cry

The season brings your scent
and you fill my nose
and my sense of touch
sometimes swears that
you're in my clothes
I just wanted to hold you close

Cold mornings, tile flooring
water boiling on the stove
was the best time I've ever known
just you and me alone
Track Name: Going Places
(chorus:)
Going places, doing things all day
Going places, doing things every day

When does it slow down
never ever ever ever
when does it slow down
only when you want it to
which is never for me

(chorus)

I like staying occupied
loosing sleep all of the time
I like staying occupied
being stressed right out-
right out of my mind

(chorus)

I like staying occupied
loosing sleep all of time
but I like having time sometimes
to be around my friends
Track Name: Satirist
I'm sick of this bullshit of what we've all become
I'm sick of this bullshit of us all being numb
I'm sick of everyone being a satirist
to such an extent the performer forgets who he is
is it so bad to want to be a little bit serious
sometimes

Do you remember or did that time ever exist
when we actually cared about things and said what we meant
is it so bad that I want to have conversations with my friends
I'm sick of everyone being an inverted image

No, no, no, no,
I don't want to let it go
"can't you take a fucking joke?"
well of course I can, but its getting too much
your humor is a fucking crutch
you use it way too much
you use it to hide from all of us

And I realize you feel so safe this way because
if you're joking no one criticizes what you think
but I'm sick of not being able to speak face-to-face
I want to be able to relate

I'm sick of this bullshit of what we've all become
I'm sick of this bullshit of us all being numb
I'm sick of everyone being a satirist
to such an extent the character becomes who he is
is it so bad to want to have conversations with my friends
sometimes

No, No, No, No
I don't want to let it go
"can't you take a fucking joke?"
well of course I can, but its getting too much
your humor is becoming a crutch
you use it way too much
you use it to hide from all of us
Track Name: Yet
I'm not even going to pretend
I know where I'm going yet
or that I know how anything will end up
in the end

Because looking back and knowing is easy easy
and hindsight bias is 20-20
but we all know we love deceiving ourselves
as well as everyone else

No one knows what's yet to come
and its hard to prepare for the storm
if you didn't even know it would ever exist
and there wasn't even one small hint, so
(repeat first two verses)